When Suffering Doesn't Cease
- Amanda Wright, Licensed Professional Counselor
- Oct 3, 2021
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 4, 2021
“If I can just get to the other side of this thing, things will be better.” I can’t count the number of times I have thought or spoken statements like this. Some things will pass, but hope grounded in relief this side of heaven is sinking sand. Even if circumstances clean up nicely, the “other side” of one earthly season is simply another season in a broken and cursed world. This is not the paradise our hearts long for. In the book of Romans, Paul says all of creation “groans” and “looks forward to the day” it will be free from “death and decay.” He goes on to say believers also “groan” for the day they will be free from “sin and suffering (Romans 8:22-23).” If we walk around with hope grounded in better circumstances, improved physical health, or more prosperity this side of heaven, we will live a life cycling in and out of discouragement, disappointment, and shame.
I know this because I’ve lived it. I still do it often. I’ve gone many days thinking, “I just need to make it to the other side of this.” But what happens when the “other side” never seems to come? Sickness isn’t always healed this side of heaven; marriages can remain difficult or fail; unruly children sometimes grow into unruly adults despite your best parenting efforts; finances don’t always get where you hope they’ll be despite all your hard work; infertility struggles can last a lifetime instead of a “season;” trauma-induced panic attacks don’t always permanently cease. My hope, and your hope, isn’t in our ability to get past something hard or in God doing what we think is best so we can move on. Lasting hope is found with eyes fixed towards heaven as you draw near to Jesus, trusting His goodness and faithfulness each and every day. He gives fresh mercies each day, shifting our perspective from living for this world to living for His kingdom and His glory by the transforming power of His Spirit.
The cycle of disappointment and despair gets better as we shift our expectations from fighting to escape or avoid suffering to expecting and even embracing it. Becoming content to say as Jesus, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.” You are in the company of Jesus if you find yourself in prolonged suffering, groaning, and lamenting to be free from the weight of suffering and sin. It doesn’t mean you don’t have enough faith or you’re a failure if trials go long past what you, or others, deem the appropriate expiration date for you to “get over it.” Now, this isn’t to say we don’t experience seasons of suffering due to the consequences of our own sin. We absolutely do and should repent when this is the case, but some suffering may primarily be the result of someone else’s sin or the collective brokenness of the world we live in.
Jesus certainly knew and felt the agony of immense suffering, and His was never the result of His own sin. He is sinless, perfectly holy in every way. He felt a range of emotions but never sinned. He felt pain but never sinned. He struggled thinking about His looming destiny on the cross but without sinning. Jesus was affected in every way we are, in His mind, body, and emotions. If our sinless Savior was so profoundly affected by the sin and suffering He encountered, what on earth would make us think we can “handle” it all or “wash our face” and “get over it?” The answer is pride; we believe we are capable or should be capable of getting ourselves together. We fear not living up to the expectations of others or our own. The freeing truth is that we are not capable, but Jesus is.
Jesus is able to strengthen us, comfort us, guide us, and heal us. In Christ, we don’t have to live a life with our peace and joy dependent on the unpredictable waves of life. Jesus is a steady anchor, and those who have repented of their sin and trusted Him as Lord of their lives are held firmly by Him. Paul goes on to say in Romans 8, “nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Reading the Bible, praying, memorizing scripture, and other spiritual disciplines aren’t the Christian equivalent of a 12-step program to feeling better or getting past something hard. They build relationship and intimacy with the triune God – God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Sometimes when we shrink back and try to escape suffering, we’re actually pushing away from the very thing that draws us near to our Source of lasting hope and salvation. The Source that strengthens us to endure the inevitable trials and temptations we will face. The Source of peace in an eternal glory that outweighs it all and knowing Jesus will hold us firmly until we get there! (2 Corinthians 4, Philippians 4:12-13)
Jesus doesn’t just hold us firmly; He does so with much compassion and sympathy. Hebrews 4:15 says Jesus “understands our weaknesses, for He faced all of the same testings we do, yet He did not sin.” Jesus humbled Himself to come down from heaven to put on flesh to save His people. He didn’t put on flesh like a costume over His deity-ness. He was fully embodied as a person, just like us. When satan tempted Him after he fasted for 40 days, He was feeling the pain of hunger. When He saw the people serving themselves and seeking to profit in the temple, He felt anger radiate through his veins. He struggled in agony as he prayed in the garden for God to relieve Him of the suffering He knew was coming. So as Hebrews 4:16 says, “let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”
When we view suffering from a human perspective, we can’t help but feel discouraged. But when we shift our view of suffering to Christ’s perspective, we find compassion and help. When we realize our suffering has a lot less to do with us than it does the glory of God, we can experience a peace that isn’t temporarily manufactured by numbing and stuffing our feelings. We can have peace that comes from intimacy with our Savior and hope beyond this life. We can stop pushing away from unwanted feelings and press into Jesus with them. When we come to Jesus humbly, acknowledging our weakness and sin, He is a soft place for us to land. We can cast our burdens on Him and be met with gentleness. He will give rest to our souls. This doesn’t mean our circumstances will always change for the better this side of heaven, but Jesus offers us eternal hope, rest, and peace.
Peter sums it all up like this, “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world (1 Peter 4:12-13).” So expect suffering. And as you expect it, fix your eyes on Jesus and focus on His glory reaching all the earth. Tell Him your anxious thoughts and express the whole range of your emotions to Him. Your suffering may pass quickly, or it may last a lifetime, but you can make it each day with secure, unfailing hope as you draw near to your compassionate Savior.
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